Privilege

So back

There's a principle that runs quietly through life: every privilege comes bound to a responsibility.

Somehow it has become common knowledge that good things should feel effortless. That if something is truly for us, it won’t ask much of us.

One can often find, at various points in life, that people find themselves resenting the very things they once asked for. Not because they're ungrateful, but because they understand the responsibility that has come with a privilege.

Consider the privilege of having a long-term partner or friend- how many difficult conversations, changes of character and disagreements would have to be weathered?

Or consider health. Not the absence of illness, but the daily tending: the sleep you have to protect, the food you have to think about, the body that asks for maintenance whether you feel like providing it or not.

Or children. Or meaningful work.

Everything worth having seems to come with a kind of invoice.

Often times, the exhaustion from maintaining that privilege comes less from the demands themselves and more from the belief that the demands shouldn't exist.

But it is just the case that every privilege comes with a responsibility- whether that be pet, a relationship or good health.

The problem seems to appear when people aren’t aware of the full picture behind a privilege.

So when the costs arrive, it might be that one feels deceived. Or worse, to feel like something must be wrong- because if this was really meant to be, if it was truly a privilege worth being grateful for, wouldn't it be easier?

But the responsibility can never be separated from the privilege.

Human beings are remarkably good at wanting the destination and ignoring the route. Seeing the opportunity, but not the obligation. And when the obligations arrive- obligations that were probably visible from the start- gratitude tends to fade for the very privilege that was once desired.

The principle works in reverse too. When something feels like pure responsibility- caring for family, managing a demanding schedule, tending to health through difficulty- there is often a hidden privilege waiting to be noticed.

The responsibility to care for family means they are still here. A demanding schedule often means there are opportunities worth showing up for. A body requiring rest and attention means there is a body capable of recovery.

Every responsibility that feels like a burden is likely a privilege that has stopped being recognised as one.

And while it would be ideal to have all the privilege and none of the responsibility, that is not how life works.

The two come bound together- always have, always will.

But once that's understood, the responsibilities can start to feel less like a toll and more like proof that you're holding something worth protecting.

Thanks for reading ^_^